J'ai eu l'honneur de faire une entrevue avec le grand Stewie Griffin sur ces prochains buts dans la vie, autres que tuer sa mère et de conquérir le monde. Mais , Stewie Griffin parle seulement Anglais, donc l'entrevue est en Anglais. Pour ceux qui ne savent pas lire en Anglais, voici un petit dictionnaire:
Yes: Oui
No: Non
Scarf: Manteau
House: Chat
Toaster: Ordinateur
Cat: Chien
Window: Livre
Pencil: Canada
Pen: Magazine
God: Stewie Griffin
Eternal: Stewie Griffin
Jesus: Stewie Griffin
Heroe: Stewie Griffin
Divinity: Stewie Griffin
Cool guy: Stewie Griffin
Taecher: Stewie Griffin
Genuis: Stewie Griffin
King: Stewie Griffin
Humans: Disciples de Stewie Grffin
Fetish: Stewie Grffin
Hot guy: Stewie Griffin
Benefactor: Stewie Grffin
Idol: Stewie Grffin
Lord: Stewie Grffin
Father: Stewie Grffin
A.: Réponse
Q.: Question
Et voilà! Vous savez comment lire en Anglais, je vous laisse donc avec mon interview:
Stewie Griffin speaks out - as a candidate
By Lewi$
Blog des Laids qui ont du temps à perdre©
Stewie Griffin, the youngest tot on cartoon Family Guy is running for California governor in the same race with Arnold Schwarzenegger. As part of his campaign tour, he called Pipe Dream for a chat.
Q. Can your family hear you?
A. I get asked that question all the bloody time. Lewi$, I don't know. I've got no idea. I talk and I talk. I talk till I'm fucking blue in the face. So, from my perspective, no they can't.
Q. Aside from the weather machine you say you'll make to control the world you talk about your campaign on Web site (
http://www.stewieforgov.org/ ), what would you do that would make Californians want to vote for you?
A. Well, that's a very good question. I can't imagine what could be more appealing to the voting public than a weather machine, which I can use to control the world and blackmail them into making me absolute ruler.
Q. What else do you promise the people of California?
A. Freedom to defecate whenever and wherever I please would be high on the list.
Q. Come Election Day, will you be saying, 'Victory is mine,' or will you be going back to Quahog?
A. Well, I'm saying it now. But, you know, the question is, will the voters choose to register it?
Q. How are you more qualified than Gary Coleman, who is also running for governor?
A. Well well, I'm a little taller. And I think I'm a bit more three dimensional. And I have more hair. Not exactly sure what that means. Have you seen him in a three-piece suit? He's absolutely adorable!
Q. Do you think you're too young to be governor? You're a 1-year-old kid.
A. I'll have to get back to you on that. I'm sorry...I'm just fucking with you, Lewi$. I have a shortage of material and I'm just buying myself time.
Q. So, you think you're too young?
A. For heaven's sake, not all. George Bush can't be any more than 6 or 7 and he's president of the United States.
Q. Do you expect your dirty laundry to be aired?
A. Do you mean physically my dirty laundry, like my poopy diapers and my poopy pants?
Q. Yes, that's what I mean.
A. I should hope not. There's an awful lot of streaking going on there.
Q. No one likes a politician who hates his family - especially someone who hates his own mother. You hate your mother, Lois, right?
A. There's an awful lot of tension between Lois and I. Yes, I don't care for her much at all.
Q. Would you use your executive authority to do anything to her?
A. I thought I could call out the Army, couldn't I? That would save me a lot of work that I would have to do myself.
Q. Our University president is named Lois DeFleur. Would you do anything to her simply for sharing the name Lois with your archenemy mom?
A. I have nothing but fond regards for Binghamton, New York. I wouldn't do anything more to her than her husband does to her.
Q. I think she's divorced.
A. Then, her ex-husband. The filthy boy.
Q. Since this is a race for governor, the people of California need to know the full truth about Stewie the candidate. Tell us, because you've been pretty ambiguous. Are you a homosexual? A fudgepacker? You ever had your shit pushed in?
A. Personal, personal, personal. Awkward, awkward, awkward moment. Have I ever had my shit pushed in? Well, I would put it quite like that, Matt. But, you know, all sorts of things have happened in my mind. Lewi$, haven't we all experimented homosexually in our minds?
Q. So are you gay?
A. I'm 1 year old for heaven's sake. How the fuck would I know if I'm a homosexual or not?
Q. Well, listen to yourself speak, Stewie.
A. Touché.
Q. But wait - if you are gay, how was, as you put it, your "wee-wee stricken with rigor mortis" at the sight of girls in a locker room in "Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother?"
A. Perhaps I'm bisexual now, Lewi$. Did you ever think of that? Perhaps I swing over both sides of the fence. We just don't know. That's what's so fun about me. That's what makes me such a bloody colorful fucking personality.
Q. How about your African-American neighbor Cleveland? Would you reach out to the minority community?
A. I suppose, I suppose. If not, they're going to keep whining, aren't they? Cleveland can be my secretary of affairs in charge of the minority community.
Q. What promises are you making to the people?
A. I promise not to do anything to disgrace the office of governor of the state of California within two weeks of inauguration.
Q. What's going to happen after those two weeks?
A. All bets are off. I'll do whatever the hell I want. Isn't that what George Bush did, now? He behaved like a human being and after those two weeks he just went fucking berserk.
Q. Thanks for talking to us, Stewie. We're done with the interview.
A. Thank god, it's become so awfully tedious.
